


After the gun

by Magnoliachild



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Bathing/Washing, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Suicide (mentioned), showering together, sweet Justin, the gun incident
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 20:22:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15565701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magnoliachild/pseuds/Magnoliachild
Summary: Justin is one of those people who don’t realize that people matter to him until it’s almost too late. He decides to tell Clay how he feels once he’s situated and calmed down.





	After the gun

My heart was pounding in my chest and everything in me was screaming for me to tackle him and take the gun. I wanted it away from him, and I wanted him to be locked somewhere safe, where nothing could ever hurt him.  Myself included, I never wanted to hurt him. I was really fucked up when I was with Jess, so the hurt I had caused him before was stuff that I never to think about again. 

 

“Clay…. please, let me have it, calm down and look at me.” I say frantically trying to mask the terror and fear that was clearly written all over my body. 

 

“No!” Clay yelled, “he hurt her. He doesn’t deserve to stay here when she’s gone!” 

 

I was jerking my head between Bryce and Clay hoping that Bryce wouldn’t try anything. I slowly get closer to Clay while trying to placate him so that something bad doesn’t happen. I get closer and then one of my worst nightmares starts unfolding. Clay takes the gun that’s just been hanging at his side, and presses it to the side of his head screaming that she won’t stop talking, and that she won’t leave him alone. I get close enough to grab Clays face. 

 

“Clay, look at me. She won’t go away by doing that, let’s go home and I’ll make her go away.” I say looking directly into his eyes hoping he won’t call me on the bullshit. 

 

“Ok, fine……” Clay whispers to me dropping the gun back to his side and putting his head on my shoulder. 

 

I whisper assurances into his ear as I take the gun away and then wrap him in my arms, as I lead him to the car. Bryce tries to thank me after I get Clay in the car and buckled. I ignore him, and get in and start driving us home. It’s weird that I think of it as home, but it is to me. 

 

We get home and luckily the parents are in bed, so I don’t have to explain why Clay looks like shit and why he can’t, or won’t, let go of me. So I drag him all over the house so that I don’t have to leave his side for a good few hours. I grab some water bottles from the fridge, a few of the small chocolate bars that Lainie keeps all the time, a granola bar or two, and we head upstairs to the bathroom so I can at least try to get Clay down clean somehow, preferably not getting in the shower with him, at least not this being our first time sharing a shower that isn’t locker room trauma induced. 

 

I walk us into the bathroom and start trying to encourage him to get ready to shower. He stares at me blankly trying to comprehend what I’m asking him to do, so I start to undress him and even that doesn’t get a reaction from him, and that’s when I start getting really worried so I try to get him to start verbalizing what’s going on with him. So after five minutes of nonverbal staring from him, I start stripping and get the water ready, then I finish taking his clothes from him, and we both step in the shower and I start to wash his hair and trying to encourage him to wash his own body, the last thing I want is for him to wake up and think i took advantage of him not being in his head.  

So all of him gets washed and I manage to get a semi decent shower too. I cut the water off and grab my towel, wrap it around me then get him dried off and wrapped enough for us to make it back to the bedroom quietly. Justin hunts down a pair of sweats for himself, the detox makes his body temp hard to regulate, and a pair of basketball shorts for Clay not bothering to find shirts he figures the body heat and skin to skin will do Clay’s fragile nerves some good.   They lay down on the bed and Justin drags Clay so that he is laying across him with his head turned into Justin’s neck. 

 

Clay takes a deep shuddering breath and snuggles into Justin more than he was and then promptly begins to drift off into a restful sleep after a long and emotional day. Justin looks down at the sleeping boy beside him and hopes that tomorrow goes better. Justin leans down and places a small kiss on the crown of Clay’s head and swears he feels Clay smile on his chest. Justin takes a deep breath, smiles to himself, and then drifts into the best sleep he’s ever had, hoping he wakes up first. 

  
  


The next morning Justin wakes up to Clay peeling himself off of Justin’s body. Justin lays there until Clay is standing all the way up, and looking down on him. 

 

“Um, Justin……”

 

“Mmrphhh….” 

 

“Why was I plastered to you? And why do neither of us have shirts on? And why are you wearing my sweats?” 

 

Good to know that Clay is one of those morning people where he starts talking immediately. 

 

“One, because you apparently sweat a lot in your sleep. Two, because I wasn’t trying to hold you up, and dry you off and put a shirt on you. Three,  because I didn’t have time to find my own sweats and underwear so I just grabbed the clothes closest to me so I didn’t have to drag you through the house attached to me like a leech.” Justin said rubbing his face into the pillow as he rolled over to sleep more. 

 

“Dude! Aren’t we gonna talk about this more??” Clay asked slightly exasperated. 

 

“No, I’m going to sleep more and I suggest you do the same, as it’s Saturday and I don’t hear the parents moving yet as it is only 7:30.” Justin said as he grabbed Clay’s arm and dragged him onto the bed to use as a teddy bear. Clay protested until Justin snuggles into his bare chest and holds him tight so that he can’t run away, not that he wants to, this is like his best dream coming true. 

 

“I can hear you thinking from down here. Stop it and sleep.” Justin says into Clay’s ribs.  

 

Clay just lets himself smile and enjoy the cuddling for right now, and if Justin kisses Clay before he gets up and heads to the bathroom, that’s nobody's business. Clay lets himself enjoy while he can until they inevitably have to face the truth and have the conversation. Before Clay can work himself into a panic attack he sees a note next to him on the bed, 

_I’m not sure how to do this, relationships I mean. I slept with Bryce to earn my keep at the guest house. I slept with Jess because that was what was what expected of me. I don’t want to fuck this up because for some reason I like your dorky ass. Even if you only where one hoodie and have a horrible choice in wardrobe colors. I’d like to try to make this a real thing, the cuddling, the hand holding, the everything. Especially the talking to each other, you scared the shit out of me last night, and you better not fucking do it again. I can’t love you if you’re not here. And by the way I love you. Ok, we’ll talk later, I’m moving too much writing this, you keep groaning and squishing me in your sleep. :)_

Clay finishes reading it and then decides that today will definitely be better than yesterday. 

  
  
  
  



End file.
